Caring for Third Culture Kids (TCKs)

A Global Member Care Network Article written by Belinda Ng, BCC Missions Personnel

Caring for Third Culture Kids (TCKs)

Having been a missionary parent, sending office personnel staff and member caregiver, I am constantly thinking of how we should be preparing families with children from new sending context for cross-cultural missions. Proper preparation for any missionary is important. It reflects member care when we do so. What are the added components when we send missionary families with children?

Holistic preparation requires that the entire family go through the process in order that each individual has a smooth transition to the place where they are placed. Making it intentional is necessary to ensure that no children are excluded. First of all, sending entities, whether church or agencies, must be convinced that it is important to prepare the entire family. The reality was that such preparation often did not take place. Not being fully aware of the huge impact, the move has on children, it may not have been given the priority and is omitted unintentionally.

The usual focus has always been on the adults, resulting in the whole family struggling when the children are not doing well in adjusting to the new environment. Reversely, re-entry has also been difficult for the TCKs. This affects the parents’ life and ministry, putting them in a dilemma often filled with guilt. Earlier missionaries showed hardiness and seemed to thrive in spite of the lack of preparation for the families, but this came with a price.

Preparation is an ongoing process throughout the missionary family journey in missions. It begins at the church level, in spiritual formation and discipleship, long before the couple sense the calling. The prefield orientation prepares the parents for cross-cultural living, starting with strengthening their marriage, building family life, and learning about having a work/life balance. When children are young, parents need to be equipped with tools to help their young children navigate the terrain of transition to the field. In recent years, more resources are available to assist in this process. Sending entities will do well in identifying the important elements in the ongoing preparation. It is not too early to introduce the concept of TCKs to children of elementary school age.

It is not surprising to hear that some sending churches are not familiar of this TCK concept. Hence it is important for senders, especially those in new sending context, to know the impact on children when they are raised outside their passport culture. Missionary parents perhaps learned it the hard way. Hence, they play an important role in raising awareness of the existence and issues facing TCKs. In recent years, there are growing resources but we need stories, lessons and reflections from missionary parents and adult TCKs from the global south. This does not mean that literature by westerners is not helpful or needed, as many of the issues are universal. So, we continue to stand on the shoulders of earlier TCK advocates and apply the lessons appropriately and contextually. This will equip emerging stakeholders, who hold critical roles, in coming alongside the next generation of missionaries and TCKs.

In global missions, we need one another to work together in caring for those families sent out, whether within our sending entities or not. Having a Kingdom mentality, we reach out borderlessly to one another through helping, mentoring, and sharing resources so that families are properly prepared for the challenges of raising their TCKs away from their passport culture.

Belinda Ng

BCC Missions Personnel

Recommended Resources:

Third Culture Kids, Growing Up Among Worlds, Pollock et al, 2009

Families on the Move, Knell, 2001

Burn-up or Splash Down, Knell, 2006

Third Culture Kids, A Gift to Care For, Ernvik, 2019

Rice, Noodle, Bread or Chapati? The Untold Stories of Asian MKs, Ho, ed. 2013